I walk through the door completely spent. While I do love my job, there are days when asking the same five questions, ringing up groceries and showing a cheery smile for eight hours becomes too much. And when one does it several days in a row--well, that is something. Exercising is not necessarily what I care to do once I get home from a long day.
As I change into my stretchy pants and tank top, I think "Is this really what I want to be doing? Couldn't I just sit and watch some TV, drink wine and be happy?" I fight off these thoughts, telling myself that this really is what I want to be doing. Of course I could be happy--at the moment. However the next day would be something quite unlike happiness. It would be full of regret, of a full tummy and aching head. Full of a very bad attitude. I've made promises to myself to care for my body, to do better. But that promise is one that is hard to keep even when I am fully aware of the consequences if I don't.
Meeting myself on the mat is sometimes the most difficult journey I make during the day. I am often exhausted, irritable, aching and hungry. But as a trudge along, reaching for the bag hanging on the hook in my hallway, I know that what I am doing goes far beyond physical fitness. This is symbolism of what I have chosen for my year. Of routine, emotional awareness, and strength of mind and body. It shows that regardless of how I feel, I will continue to follow through.
I begin in Child's Pose
Breathe in, breathe out...