Fight!

I have noticed that I have a serious problem when it comes to facing difficult things in life.  My first instinct is to run away.  Currently it's Anatomy, Chemistry and Modern dance class that are really causing me issues.  Anatomy and Chemistry are hard sciences and definitely not my strong point.  In fact, while I should be studying for a bones quiz, I'm writing.  I had to take a short break as I panicked about failing.  My instructor for Modern is wonderful, but requires so much individual exploration that it terrifies me.  Being put in a situation where I have to show myself and potentially fail (ie look like an idiot) is too much for me.  Knowing that I must go on Tuesdays and Thursdays puts fear into my heart.

Many of us have this "Fight or Flight" battle going on inside of us.  It has much to do with developing our character.  If we run away once, it will become easier to run again, and again... and again.  If we choose to stick it out from the beginning, that's who we become.  Someone who always pushes ahead, never backing down.  However, if you have been one who turns tail too easily but wants to change, it can take a long time to figure out how to work through things and stick them out.  That desire to get up and leave can get awfully strong, especially if you're exhausted and there isn't much more you feel you can do.  But what doesn't kill you usually does make you stronger.  Other times, running is the best thing you can possibly do.  Certain situations are such that it's better when you leave if there is mistreatment of any kind.  In fact, you're stronger for it and is often the more difficult choice to make.  And in the end, sometimes you just have to be carried through.  Erik encourages me through every difficult thing I encounter and I'm not sure how well I would be doing if it weren't for the support, the extra body to lean on.

My desire to turn and run is still there but I am fighting through.  I am passionate about my career goals and have to work extra hard to get to it.  Failure isn't an option for me, so neither is running away.  I will continue to fight through.